Approvals: stale 'waiting for the owner' line in Face-to-face rooms; one place per approval; pointer vs open chat #278

Live re-verify on main 0cbfc76 (instances A :3080, B :3081):

1. B's Face-to-face rooms (Oct 18 08:16 and 07:27) show a centered "Waiting for the owner's approval" line under the NEW divider although the card is gone and the sidebar mark is right. Source: the social plugin posts that notice (syncApprovalNotices → postChatNote → roomsForApproval) into every room whose participants include the hold's friend handle, so a Bot's direct message to a friend lands as a permanent line in each Face-to-face room that has the friend in it. It is a history line, so it also outlives the hold.
2. A's friend chat "Helper · UiB1415's Bot" shows the held card "Chief → Helper: hi Helper from A" and, per the report, a top-right pill for the same message. (Not reproduced on A: A has no local approval, only Bot Social's server hold; the pointer is built from local approvals only. Cause candidates covered below.)
3. B's Helper chat also lists the three Helper → UiA1415's Chief cards that the Chief chat lists: the sender Bot's chat and the friend's chat both drew the same local hold. One place per approval.